Growth and Evolution
This post, I have decided to make a personal one. Sometimes, it's not just about the group but about myself as well. This group is my passion and I plan to pursue it all the way. However, I also want to express other things that not only have to do with what is going on in our wonderful group.
This year, I've decided to shake things up a bit. I want to evolve and grow not only as a person but also as a photographer. I have many goals and dreams this year. My list of plans just keeps getting bigger and bigger. It has things from making my portrait business high-end to becoming a published and known photographer, to forming a non-profit organization with my group of photographers!!! Whoah! Now, they are "my" group of photographers!! HAHA, not really. But they are amazing, and talented, and they have similar dreams, and they belong to my group! Well, now it's not just my group, it's ours!
Yes! There are many things in the works, as a lot of you know! There are details and surprises being created and it's simply so much fun! That is all for another post, however.
Last year, I was preoccupied with many, many things but the most important of them all was the group! I was worried about developing it and forming bonds with the people in it. I, though, forgot about my personal work. I forgot about me and my art. I created a few pieces of art. Some I like, some I hate. They were all over the place though. They weren't done with much patience, nor detail. Heck! They weren't even done with Photo Shop. I had Corel Paint Shop Pro. That's where I did my work! I learned quite a bit there. In fact, I had learned so much that I couldn't work anymore. I felt like I had run out of tools for me to do what I needed to do. Further, I didn't even have a tablet! "What the heck!" you all must be saying. Slowly, I learned that I needed a tablet and PS. And...of that I convinced my dear husband. He believes in me so much that he decided to buy those things for me for my birthday in November. So, I learned how to use a tablet and am still learning how to use PS. I can tell you though, it sure is 100% better!
I started practicing with PS. My first time was a total failure but it WAS practice and it was good practice. Needless to say, that first image was a fine art piece. Since it was so bad, I decided to try it on portraits. I learned quickly (just enough to make them look beautiful) and used it for retouching often. I wanted to try my hand again at fine art. That next image was good practice as well. It was enough that I decided to share it publicly. Of course, it didn't get the acclaimed praise an artist so badly wants but I didn't mind one bit.
So, after the new year, one of my resolutions was to do a 52 week self-portrait project. It's so hard for me to come up with ideas and even harder for me to be in front of the lens. However, sometimes you have to do what you set yourself out to do. Sometimes, you have to follow your dreams and take action because no one will do it for you. Knowing that, was enough for me to try.
Last night, I couldn't sleep; like usual! My mind started wondering and I came up with an idea. I just saw the image in my head. For the first time, I was able to actually see the image I wanted to create... in my head. That had never happened before. I always tried but never succeeded. I was so tired, though, that I didn't want to get up to write it down or draw. I prayed that I would only remember it today! And guess what! I did. This morning, I woke up and set out to accomplish the task. I only had to put more details into the idea. My idea was to stand in the middle of my studio and act as I was being pulled away by a cloud coming in through the window. After many shots, I thought that I had taken all the images I needed. I uploaded the photos to my computer and... well I saw that I forgot certain shots for the idea. I really didn't want to go back and shoot. I knew I could come up with something similar without having to reshoot. So... I did. I worked on the image about 5 hours straight, without moving.
Yes! I know! Some photographers work on images for 30 or 40 hours. But... when it comes to art I need instant gratification. Perhaps, with time and practice I'll gain patience and begin working on my images much longer. Like I always say, everything happens for a reason and in due time!
I, now, look at my image and I feel proud for the first time! I stare at it and I see a woman giving an offering. This offering is being given to her Higher Self. Not to the Heavens - she is already in Heaven, as you can see with the clouds under her feet. She has already reached that point. Now, she is to the point of having to evolve further. In order to evolve, she must offer the promise of life to Herself...her Soul! The rest...well, you can come up with it yourself. All I can say is...thank you... to my mind for giving me this concept while having one foot (last night) on the other side (Morpheus' arms). I believe I have started my "Spiritual Evolution Series".
Without further adiu, here is my image:
This is my PS practice image:
These are the images I created in 2013 with Corel Paint Shop Pro (these are in no particular order):